Full Moon on the Quad & Mid Autumn Festival

Full Moon on the Quad (FMOTQ) - one of Stanford's biggest events of the year - was held last Saturday night.

Held on exactly the same night 9000 miles away was another vaguely familiar event called Mid Autumn Festival (MAF) at Hwa Chong.

The nature of FMOTQ and MAF was obviously vastly different, but I suppose there is one and only one reason for attending, as Robert Crook - a Stanford student - aptly summed up on October 9's "Stanford Daily":

"Why did we, a collection of different people with different interests, decide to band together and share this experience? Was it for the kissing? ...... Was it the music? ...... Was it a lack of better things to do?......

......The nature of this X factor remained unclear to me until about halfway through K. Flay's performance, when familiar faces began materializing out of the ether. One, then two, then three and four and five and six -- before I knew it, I was surrounded by people I had seen every day of freshman year. Our exchanges were unintelligible, our mannerisms flamboyant, our collective reason for being there now boneheadedly obvious: We went there to be there. Being there. Being there in the company of others, in the middle of something bigger than ourselves, embracing the idiosyncrasies of university life. That's the source of magic behind events like Full Moon and even, one could argue, behind the Stanford Experience."

But most faces around me on Saturday were unfamiliar. In actual fact, I am still struggling to remember their names and match their names with their faces (even though all are Singaporeans). I felt a tinge of homesickness then and there. I miss the Left Wing and Right Wing. I miss the mass dances. I miss the Wushu performance. I miss going to Sixth Avenue for icecream after MAF...

The last time I attended MAF was like ages ago - I can't even remember which year. When will I be able to attend MAF again?

“稍微比较轻松但也轻松不到哪里去”的课

过去两天，下了雨，是这里半年来的第一场雨。温度突然拉得好低，完全不像印象中的 California。心也开始冷了。

我的资料越堆越高，有一门课程的功课出奇得多，每堂课之前须要读几百页的资料，然后得写一份 Response Paper。也就是说，每周有两堂课，上课之前得读到眼花缭乱后，再写两份 Paper，而且每份 Paper 都算分（所以，这门 10 星期的课要写 20 份的 Response Paper），还有 Mid-term 考试和 Final 考试，还有一个两天的 Conference，外加一份额外的 Research Paper，通通算分。朋友向教授讨价还价，说能不能每周只写一篇 Paper，教授想也不想说了不。教授说，既然我们能考进这间 S-字头大学，学术能力一定不差。

我只想刮教授一巴掌，这里每位教授以为学生每学期只上他的一个课程，时间多得是。我实在想在教授面前大声喊：“我不只上你的课，我还有其他教授的课。”

于是，我不行了，只好放弃这门课，选修其他“稍微比较轻松但也轻松不到哪里去”的课。

结果，我还不是每周要读 1000+++ 页的资料？

天啊，开学只不过两个星期罢了，我的睡眠时间已经从两星期前的 8 小时减少到昨天的 5 小时。我暂时不允许“论文”一词进入生活中，否则日子会更难过。

幸福，是在自己手中的。

开学一个星期了，发现之前写的 “怎么也看不出大学的高压在哪里” 那段话应该收回去。昨天算了算我每个星期究竟有几页 readings 要读，统计后的数字叫我咋舌。加加减减后，总页数竟然有四位数。把眼光放远一点，这个学期总共有十星期，所以届时学期结束后，总阅读页数将多达一万多页。这还不包括准备论文的资料。。。我想我会死得很漂亮。。。

现在每读一个字，我就越想不过去。。。想着如果我是念心理学的话，我会开心几万倍，要我读几百万页的资料，我也不会介意。

开不开心，其实只能由自己决定。幸福是掌控在自己手中的。

我只希望，我能尽快看开。。。

美酒 ＋ 美景 ＋ 美天气

蓝天无云的绝佳天气


喝了酒，我们是不是很开心满足呢？


我们前几天随性在吃完晚餐后说周末要到酿酒厂品尝美酒，结果偌大的校园不能抵制我们出走的欲望，我们七个人上周末真的自己开车去了酿酒厂，而且我们不只参观一家酿酒厂，而是一口气拜访了四五家酿酒厂。

美国最佳酿酒之地就在加利福尼亚州，其红酒和白酒的质地不逊色于来自法国 Bordeaux 的酒。既然来到这里念书，似乎没有什么任何理由能阻止我们彳亍于葡萄园之间，享受在蓝天无云的绝佳天气下品尝一等美酒的自在写意。

从校园到 Millbrae 小休吃点心午餐，然后往旧金山开去，一路向北，路途起了浓浓的雾。我想起（和想念）伦敦早晨的朦胧雾，原来旧金山也和伦敦一样会常常起雾。车离开了山锁雾，便来到了常在旅游杂志上看到的壮观的金门大桥。我从来没有到过著名的金门大桥，我们也没有打算特地绕道去金门大桥看看，可是无独有偶，我们车内的 GPS 系统告诉我们要抵达 Sonoma Wine Country 就得过金门大桥。

过桥前，过桥时，过桥后的桥旁风景本来就很秀丽，现在因为袅袅而升的雾而增添丝丝的神秘色彩，更加绚丽多姿。

还没品尝到美酒，我们已经被沿途风景给迷醉了，像我第一次到巴黎一样被铁塔给迷住了，久久不想离开。

过了金门大桥简直就是另一片天地，美国幅员辽阔显然易见，开着车，把车窗拉低，让风穿过头发轻拂脸庞，骤然感到就连美国的空气也是很自由的。

之后，我们品尝了大概有二十多种酒，喝地很尽兴，也阔气买了几瓶酒，其中大概那瓶 Cabernet Sauvignon 最香醇，最浓郁，真的是好酒一瓶，价钱当然不菲，一瓶要50美元，但我们还是买了下来。=)

（从酿酒厂买酒比较便宜，这样的美酒在外面的价格随随便便超过一百美元，而且不一定找得到。）

“醉翁之意不在酒，在乎山水之间也。山水之乐，得之心而寓之酒也。”我们拥有了美景加美酒加很美的天气，还能要求什么呢？

不知道 Big Ben 何时再为我鸣响？

S 曾经说过 Stanford 像是个巨大的高压釜，可是我们到现在却怎么也看不出大学的高压在哪里。或许是高压釜的盖现在暂时掀开，所以一切阳光明媚，轻松自在。California-式的典型绚丽天气实在美妙诱人，很多人穿着 T 恤和百慕达骑着脚踏车或是溜滑轮代步，也有很多人为了迎新而办烧烤会，委实像豪华度假村多过庄严的学术殿堂。。。

我已经不由自主地爱上 Stanford 了，虽然爱上却有点哀伤。。。此时此刻，我更想念的是伦敦以及伦敦的一切。。。Hampstead，Hampstead Heath，Hampstead Crepes，Ben's cookies。。。真的不知道 Big Ben 要等到什么时候才能再次为我鸣响。。。

是不是吊诡，拭目以待

不得不承认，我们消耗很多的时间，很多的精力，当然还有很多的金钱，从这个地方，搬到那个地方，再迁来迁去，甚至用身体的健康和安危交换许许多多的自讨苦吃，终于迁徙到这里来了。结果，我上星期天在教堂被一名洋人的问题给怔住了。

“你千里迢迢离开自己的国家，到这里来就是研究自己的文化，你不觉得很吊诡吗？”

我不加思索说：“这样，视角才会不同。”

是不是这样，接下来几个月自有分晓。

活该

总认为事情要到最后才能看出端倪，所以我总习惯把很多事情拖到最后刹那才去处理，只能说自己自讨苦吃，自己活该。。。

Free

My US hosts for the Stanford Homestay Program, Don and Mary, sent me several emails - they sounded very friendly, offering to pick me up at San Francisco Airport (haha... I can save at least US$20 for the trip), offering to drive me all around prior to the start of school (save more money), and also free accommodation in their house (yet, more savings!):

"Our home is located about six miles from the campus. While you are with us, we will be glad to drive you back and forth and to take time to acquaint you with this area. We think it is one of the nicest places in the country, so expect to hear us brag about it occasionaly! (Don't expect us to be similarly enthusiastic about our government!)...

...Both of us are retired school teachers. Mary taught middle-school students in Redwood City for many years; during those same years I taught high school chemistry in Palo Alto. We have enjoyed the opportunity to do a lot of traveling to many parts of the world. One of our enjoyable experiences was a visit of several days to Singapore, almost thirty years ago. On a number of our trips, we were able to become re-acquainted with former students whom we had hosted while they were attending Stanford or other local schools."

I can't wait to leave Singapore. After living abroad for 3 years (plus 1 more year), I wonder how I'm going to survive in mundane Singapore for possibly the next 6 years. :(

~~~~~
*My plan to visit Peru is still ongoing. Anybody interested?

还有九天

我从伦敦搬回来的行李，还没有 unpack，现在却要开始收拾美国的行李。

每年都是这样的情况，去年更糟，只有两三天的时间收拾。

今年算是很好了～～我还有九天的时间，买课本，买吃的，买用的，买喝的，买读的。

班机已确定，就在下星期五，会在 Seoul 的仁川国际机场转机，预计中午时分抵达旧金山（San Francisco）。

我从来没有坐过这样长时间的飞机，十九个小时，怎么耐？

～～～
＊死报馆始终不肯给我搭新航，最后没办法，只好自己外加差不多 300 块钱，订了新航。:(

明天最后

蔡副总刚刚笑着问我：“今天最后一天吗？”

我笑回说：“没有。明天。”

“那么，几时飞？”

“两个礼拜后。”

然后，他的眼镜睁得好大好大。

我大概明白他的意思。

还好

还有四天，工作就结束了。

我须要喘息的空间和时间，还好，我还有两个星期休息的时间。

我要去很多地方。

就等这四天过后。

朋友，不是要有就有的。

刚过去的周末有两个聚会，算是不错了，至少今年还有时间和精力和多一点朋友见面，而且都是很多年没有见面的朋友，本来还有点内疚和惭愧，可是见了面之后，时光仿佛倒流到我们认识的那个时候。

＊聚会（一）

星期六，本来约好和他们吃晚餐，可是做工所消耗的体力是无与伦比的大，结果懒得出门。然后晚上 10 点，WD 打了电话给我，说他们在等我，内疚感加倍，还是出门露个面比较好。结果，我们七个人一见面，就天南地北。后来，剩下四个人，从 Marina Square 转移阵地到 Bras Basah 的 McDonalds 不知不觉地聊到凌晨三点半。就连从澳洲回来的 GL 也说，我们这次好像是第一次聊到那么久。可是我们一点倦意也没有。

我们七个人从学生时代因为帮报馆拍照而认识，现在我们都没有再帮报馆拍照了。WY 还说她的镜头发霉了，哈哈，JX 说他的 dry pack 也坏了。今非昔比，我们都知道，不过还是有话题聊，骂早报的那几个高层如何还是那么死板，八卦某某某还是一样会拍马屁……哦 JX 明年要结婚了，祝福他。我们那段曾经一起搞摄影展的时光还是我比较刻骨铭心的，毕竟那时我只有 16 岁，以后，我们还有合作的机会吗？

＊聚会（二）

星期天，这是小学朋友的聚会，本来以为只有那几位，可是万万没有想到整整 12 年没有见面的小学朋友也来了，又惊又喜。是的，12 年，提到这个数字，感觉好像好久好久，但是聊起小学发生的事时，一切又历历在目，大家回味无穷。

谁谁谁坐在谁谁谁的旁边？哪个老师听写不及格会把作业本子丢到课室外？放学后喜欢在学校对面的小店买玩具，然后不想回家，跑去某人的家聚会玩 street fighter？到谁的家做 project 的时候，谁的父母会特别照顾我们？谁和谁曾经在班上打架，闹得满班风云？谁和谁每天早上要去 TAF Club 被老师叫去做额外的运动减轻体重？谁家住哪里，门牌几号，旧家的电话号码是什么竟然还有人记得？等等等……

这是一种很微妙的感觉。岁月不饶人无所谓，反正大家都无恙，而且一切还算顺利，这样就够了，做人始终要懂地惜福。以后，我们还会再保持联络的，不是吗？

人与人之间的关系是由缘分主导的，这是我一直以来的信念。

朋友，不是要有就有的。

要不要打瞌睡，再看着办

大学的资料一份又一份慢慢地送来，我看到眼花缭乱。一年要念完两年的课程，是可以做到的，H. M. 一直这么跟我说。课程选择很多，琳琅满目，可是，我看到大多数的课程题目，就要打瞌睡，什么"Japanese Politics and Political Economy", "China in World Politics", "Chinese Politics: The Transformation and the Eras of Reform", "The US and Asia During the Cold War", "US-China Relations: From the Opium War to Tiananmen", "Meiji Japan"……这些课程我大概是会选修，还没真正读，单看题目就想睡觉。其他课程好像比较有趣，比如"Marriage and Kinship", "The Japanese Tea Ceremony: The History, Aesthetics, and Politics Behind a National Pastime", "East Asian Cinema", "Lives of the Samurai"等等，这些好像没有多大用处，要读也是读爽的。

到底怎么选，到了那边再看着办。

工作小插曲

很多朋友问为什么这么久没有 update blog 了，刚刚 log-in Blogger 的网站，才发现真的，已经超过一个月没有写了。我只能说，不好意思，真的没时间，没精力，做工的时间虽然飞逝而过，下班后就不想再用脑写东西了。

这一个多月以来，一切还算顺利，只不过前几天发生了一段我从来没有想过会发生的工作小插曲，目前我还是看不出我到底错在哪里，请了各位主任给我意见，还在等待中。深江说或许我没错，或许真的是我判断出了错误，但总是个学习的经验，他还没仔细看我的文章，所以没办法给予确实的看法，只好耐心等待……慧玲也这么说，相信也会给我宝贵的意见，读者的投诉不是没有道理，只是我不完全同意……有结论再 update 吧。

I'm still alive.

To those who frequent my blog:

我还活着。有空再写。

I’m still alive.  Will write soon when I’m free.

Moving woes

Ok, it must be me. My I-20 form has finally been settled only after 4 weeks. Now I’m stuck at the SEVIS I-901 fee payment, which I paid very early on 16th June, and after 13 days, it still has not been processed. Hey, I paid electronically, not via cheque sent by slow regular mail. What is wrong with the efficiency of the US immigration? Or maybe it is just me.

And so, I cannot proceed onto the ACTUAL visa application. There are 4 forms - DS-156, DS-157, DS-158 and SGP V-4 - to fill in which should not be a problem since this process only involves me. Then, I need to get a cashier’s order from the bank for the visa fee (another fee!!!), since the embassy accepts no other forms of payment, not even debit or credit card or even cash. What is wrong with them?

And then I realise I need to retake my passport photos, since the US immigration only accepts photos that are exactly 2 inches by 2 inches. What the hell.

And so, without the US visa, my 2 boxes to the US are stuck at the UK depot, and so I cannot settle all payment for the shipment and so I cannot close my UK bank accounts before I leave the UK. My 3 boxes to Singapore are already on their way home, and I sent all 5 boxes at the same time. What the fuck.

And to top it all up, my toothache is coming back.

What a great summer!

And what a great way to say goodbye to London!

整理三年

整理收拾了一个星期还没整理收拾完，三年内累积的东西比想象中的还要多。

已经不忍心丢了很多，也送了很多，还是剩下一大堆。

没办法，三年的点点滴滴怎么能在几天内就草草收拾完毕呢？

所以，我得忍着牙痛（和心痛）把回家的日期再度延迟。

明天不回岛国了。

Packing Pangs

Packing pangs have officially set in. I am truly amazed by how much stuff I’ve accumulated in three years. I had 4 big boxes (120 kg) at the end of year 1, and 6 boxes (180 kg) by the end of year 2. I’m definite I have more rubbish than last year, maybe 8 boxes (240 kg) now?

I cannot afford to keep everything and ship everything home or to America, though I want to. It’s either throwing into bins, or giving to friends, or donating to charity. Hopefully I’ll end up with just 4 boxes.

I know I’ll eventually get through all these packing woes. I just need time. And patience.


*By the way, we queued for 50 minutes to get crepes just now and the creperie boss unexpectedly said to me, “It’s you again! You come everyday!” In actual fact, I haven’t been to eat crepes for 3 weeks. I’ll miss the crepes. I’m 101% sure I can’t find any other crepes in the world better than Hampstead’s. :(

离开

我真的不想离开，也不知道如何离开。三年一晃而过，时光怎么荏苒也无须多说，大家都心知肚明。只希望在伦敦的最后几天，能好好和大家说再见。

我知道我离开以后，我会再回来，这或许就足够了。

Only my tooth can decide.

There are pros and cons in life. One cannot expect to be lucky all the time.

Provisional results were out, and I was just a few thousandths of a percentage less than the first and second positions and could have done *just* slightly better to get the prize of 200 pounds. But I’m happy nevertheless to come third in the cohort. =)

Switzerland was awesome, Madrid was not bad either. But I had to cancel my 8-days Scotland trip starting tomorrow, because of an excruciating toothache (so much more painful than the wisdom teeth) which has been put under control with a strong dose of antibiotics, forfeiting the train tickets and hostel reservation charges (which thankfully did not exceed 40 pounds in total). I had to choose to part with 450 pounds to have my nerve at the root of my tooth removed in London, or to go back home earlier to get the ache sorted out at a much cheaper price. So, I might be back in humid Singapore as early as next week, currently booked on the flight SQ319 on 24th June, next Saturday. Hopefully, I can endure the pain and extend my stay in London and leave on 7th July as initially planned, but I seriously doubt so.

Stella said I can stay as long as I want. Yes I want to, but I have no choice. I don’t want to leave London. Only my tooth can decide now.