忘了Singlish的声音

回来岛国后，只休息了五天，就上班了。。。你说某机构残不残忍？到目前为止，只做了十天的工，就有两天从8:30am工作到11pm。。。:(

日复一日，时间过得超快，回来岛国已经快三个星期了，但是我还在属于适应阶段。单单语言方面，就很辛苦，在法庭听审，听了很辛苦才听懂被告、法官、律师、主控官在说什么。原来，我已经忘了Singlish的声音了。。。我想我还需要很长的时间才能重新适应岛国的Singlish。。。

一月九日回到岛国

只剩一天了，这几天的天气却坏得不得了，前两天在旧金山碰到我在美国一年半以来最糟的天气，强风把雨伞变成窝囊，雨下个不停。昨天回到斯坦福之后哪里也去不了，所以只好呆在宿舍里，胡思乱想的时间也就多着。心情跟窗外的豪雨一样。。。

脑海里一直浮现几位老板最近对我说过的几句话。一是深江几个月前的那句“回来了啊？For good?”另一个是慧玲比较酸的“外国生活太好啊？为什么这么久还不回来”的几句话。又一个是君琴比较直接的“为什么今年没有回来实习？”还有Connie的“今天这样难得看到你，你到底要托到几时？”还有其他同事和朋友的“挂念”，就没有必要再这里重复了⋯⋯

我想到这些，也不知道要以怎样的心情反应。脑海里竟变得空白。

也无所谓，反正我真的要回来了。

郑重宣布：本人一月九日清晨抵达岛国；一月十四日上午正式上班。

（想到上班，就想作呕。）=p

Home for good...

旧金山湾区的电台一直重复播放这首 Daughtry 的歌，和自己的心情写照竟然差不到哪里去。和Daughtry 一样，我们都不曾后悔我们为自己选择的这一条路，只不过加利福尼亚终究不是属于我们的（当然还有其他客观因素），所以我们最后还是踏上回家的旅途。

我终于要回家了。For good...

"Home" by Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, it makes true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

回家的跫音

2008年了，我仿佛已经听到自己回家的跫音。论文写完了，硕士课程结束了，是时候和斯坦福说再见了，是时候和加州的阳光告别了。

说实在的，我并不期待岛国的阳光。可是，离开了四年半，是终究要回去的。我真的要回家了。这次，逃不了了，避不过了。我真的要回去离开四年半的家，回到离开四年半朋友的身边，回到似曾相识的一草一木。

我对于未来是害怕的。害怕自己不能适应，害怕自己无法融入，害怕体验自己失去空间和自由的束缚。。。

回家的脚步越来越近，我的心也越来越忐忑。。。。。。


～～～
＊还没离开，我就开始想念在美国公路驰骋的快感。自己过去十多天一个人开了2230 miles （3600km）的车，累是当然的，但竟然还很享受。不知道什么时候还能以85 miles per hour （140 km per hour）的速度来回游走。

终于写完了！

花了两个多月的时间，终于写完了。。。我的硕士论文写完了！第一次写这么长的东西，总共130页，一共3万454个字。哈哈，教授还说：“Excellent Thesis. Congrats!”呵呵。

写论文实在是个折磨人的差事，没有经历过的人是永远不会明白的。真的不知道以后怎么写博士论文。

Chasing Cars

A song that I really like that perpetually repeats on the SF Bay radio...



Chasing Cars
by Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

自讨苦吃

最近才发现，我是个不能闲下来的人，论文的第一篇草稿刚刚写完，教授还没批，我就联系了十多个人，忙着安排时间表，进行访问，筹划两大篇专题。。。

有时候，真的是自讨苦吃。

How to Save a Life

Another song that repeats on the radio, as often as I repeat to read the words I wrote in my not-yet-completed thesis.



"How to Save a Life" by Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

Hey There Delilah

Another simple yet catchy song that repeats on the radio in the Bay Area...



"Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

Collide

This song keeps repeating on STAR 101.3 while driving on the 101. Hmm... actually so do many other songs.




"Collide" by Howie Day

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

Streets of London

以前说过很多次，不过我还是要说：我好想念伦敦，伦敦，伦敦。。。。。。我要回伦敦，可是没有时间啊！！！！！！

My First Earthquake Was Like A Phantasmagoria

About 20 hours ago, I experienced the first earthquake in my life.

The quake struck on October 30th 2007 at 8.04 PM, Pacific Time (Singapore Time: October 31st 2007, 11.04 AM).

I just left my house and was on my way to the Meyer Library, when things around me seemed to start shaking.

I had a cold that morning and so, I thought I was hallucinating. I thought I was dizzy.

So, I continued to walk to the library, dismissing the tremors as my personal phantasmagoria.

And when I arrived at the library, people’s reactions confirmed that it was an earthquake.

Things around me were really shaking.

This 30-second earthquake measured 5.6 on the Richter Scale. In other words, it was a moderate earthquake, with slight damage to buildings possible.

This is the largest earthquake since the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake which killed 62 people throughout Northern California, injured 3,800 people and left more than 12,000 people homeless.

We later found out that the epicenter of this quake was on the Calaveras Fault in the Diablo Range foothills nine miles northeast of San Jose, i.e., miles away from Stanford.

Even so, the quake still managed to rock the University and sent shock waves across campus.

More than three dozens aftershocks followed the quake, the largest registering magnitude 3.7, and only happened just a few minutes ago.

The University was quick to respond, reassuring students that the situation was under control. No reports of damage on the Stanford campus were documented. Neither were there reports of death and serious injuries throughout the bay area from San Francisco to San Jose.

This quake, to some people like my Cantonese professor, is a harbinger that might herald the arrival of a much larger earthquake, possibly quakes similar to that of those which struck in 1906 and 1989.

To others, yesterday’s quake is a reminder of so many faults lurking beneath a large population. To name a few famous faults, there are the San Andreas Fault and Hayward Fault - I’m sure you have seen these names in your Geography textbook.

The Hayward Fault is currently perceived to be the most dangerous in the San Francisco Bay Area. Scientists give the Hayward Fault a 27 percent chance of a magnitude - 6.7 or greater quake - higher odds than its storied neighbor and California’s best known fault, the San Andreas Fault.

And so, a big earthquake in the next year or so, or even the next minute, is not impossible.

And we are all prepared for it.

All new incoming students at Stanford are trained on what to do should an earthquake occur.

Oh well, this was a new experience, at least for me.

It still seemed a bit surreal…

~~~~~

(This was a post for OMY. Please go to http://blog.omy.sg/campusworld/ for the original post with pictures and video.)

Wake Me Up When September Ends...

都已经是十月中旬了，我还在睡和醒之间游走。。。我须要在应该清醒的时候清醒，沉睡的时候沉睡。。。




"Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day, live @ the UK

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Like my fathers come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are

As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when September ends

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are

As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Like my father's come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
Wake me up when September ends
Wake me up when September ends

全世界失眠

怎么我最近老是睡不着？？？

T-H-E-S-I-S in progress

I shan't say more. I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.


My work-desk in my room (actually I'm surprised it's not messy).


A small selection of the books I need for my thesis (I haven't gotten the rest!).


Working on my beloved Macbook Pro.


My Desktop - more things to read!!!

圆满

刚过去的9月，身边的个别朋友分手的分手，离婚的离婚，注册的注册，结婚的结婚，而且几乎都是在同个时期，都是接近在我回去新加坡的时候。

说实在的，我对于朋友们分手、离婚、注册、或是结婚，都抱着同一个心情和态度：高兴。。。不论他们和她们是刚分手、刚离婚、刚注册、或是刚结婚，我都是替他们和她们感到无比的高兴的。感觉高兴的原因是复杂的，也因为个别情况显得不同，但总的来说，我还是高兴的。（我不是在幸灾乐祸哦！）

离婚的变得很清醒；分手的似乎变得潇洒；注册的变得比以前快乐；结婚的变得沉着⋯⋯单身的我看着和听着他们和她们的经历，似乎也成长了一点。

离婚的朋友说：“离过婚后，人生好像变得圆满了。”

其实，看着喜欢的人的生活快乐，自己也就快乐，即使是单身，即使和喜欢的人不是一对，不也是圆满的吗？

可是，偏偏很多人不同意，还骂我笨。我真的笨吗？

睡眠失常

写论文的生活开始逐渐规律化，我的睡眠却未正常化。有时，晚上11点就睡到不省人事，然后睡到半夜3点钟又自动醒来；有时，下午很累就睡了两个小时的午觉，于是，晚上怎么也睡不着。我肯定我的睡眠失常不是jetlag引起的，怎么说飞抵美国已经两个星期了，身体不可能jetlag两个星期，也从来没有jetlag这么久。

所以，我的睡眠到底为什么不正常，我也不知道。最近还开始做梦了，我不是经常睡觉就会做梦的人，而且已经很久没有做梦了。还好最近的梦不是噩梦。。。

Paris, je'taime

今年5月，我们在纽约的一个法国小剧院，看了这部名为"Paris, je'taime"的爱情片子，很有意思，电影的一首歌曲也朗朗上口，到现在还经常在我的Macbook Pro上面以repeat mode播放。

本来对巴黎的印象不是很好，看了这电影，忽然好想回去巴黎一趟。。。

回到美国。。。

离开上海，回到岛国，只逗留短短的六天，却见了不少朋友，ok，至少比以前多很多，但是没有见的依然还有很多⋯⋯抱歉啦，我明年1月9日永远地回新加坡，不怕见不到面。=)

想到即将要永远回到已经离开4年多的新加坡，就心有余悸，那天回报馆碰到深江，他第一句话就问我：“回来啦？for good?”我就想也不想地立刻回复：“还没有，还没有⋯⋯”他以笑脸回应，再问了有的没的⋯⋯之后，也和新慧姐聊起回国后适应的问题，原来，大家都需要学习。

现在又回到美国，我还在调整一个人住大 studio 的心情，还在调整每天的时间表。虽然只需要写论文，看起来很简单，其实不然⋯⋯呵呵，我快要被我桌上叠地高高的资料和书本逼疯了，而我只回来斯坦福一个星期罢了。于是，我也选上了高尔夫球课，郁闷时就把气全出在球上好了⋯⋯

=p

还有7天

上海的天气开始慢慢转凉，九月初的这几天都在下着细细绵绵的小雨，城市也开始在渐渐变化。昨天路过每天会经过的中信泰富广场，发现那里的星巴克突然消失得无影无踪。才一个周末的时间，这家俯拾即是的咖啡馆就不见了。

也听说，复旦大学附近的五角场在这两年来，也是发展得出奇的快，要建成像徐家汇一样。。。

说实在的，上海市的变化有时叫我招架不住，也叫许多上海人受不了，一有时间就纷纷跑到杭州或苏州去享受远离尘嚣的写意。我们也是，上周末，我们就在杭州享受两天的西湖静谧。

另，还有七天就要离开上海了，还有好多地方还没有去，还有很多个饭局要赴，还有很多朋友要见面。回到新加坡后的6天，更是不得了，天啊，我怎么老是过着这样忙的生活？！