忘了Singlish的声音

回来岛国后，只休息了五天，就上班了。。。你说某机构残不残忍？到目前为止，只做了十天的工，就有两天从8:30am工作到11pm。。。:(

日复一日，时间过得超快，回来岛国已经快三个星期了，但是我还在属于适应阶段。单单语言方面，就很辛苦，在法庭听审，听了很辛苦才听懂被告、法官、律师、主控官在说什么。原来，我已经忘了Singlish的声音了。。。我想我还需要很长的时间才能重新适应岛国的Singlish。。。

一月九日回到岛国

只剩一天了，这几天的天气却坏得不得了，前两天在旧金山碰到我在美国一年半以来最糟的天气，强风把雨伞变成窝囊，雨下个不停。昨天回到斯坦福之后哪里也去不了，所以只好呆在宿舍里，胡思乱想的时间也就多着。心情跟窗外的豪雨一样。。。

脑海里一直浮现几位老板最近对我说过的几句话。一是深江几个月前的那句“回来了啊？For good?”另一个是慧玲比较酸的“外国生活太好啊？为什么这么久还不回来”的几句话。又一个是君琴比较直接的“为什么今年没有回来实习？”还有Connie的“今天这样难得看到你，你到底要托到几时？”还有其他同事和朋友的“挂念”，就没有必要再这里重复了⋯⋯

我想到这些，也不知道要以怎样的心情反应。脑海里竟变得空白。

也无所谓，反正我真的要回来了。

郑重宣布：本人一月九日清晨抵达岛国；一月十四日上午正式上班。

（想到上班，就想作呕。）=p

Home for good...

旧金山湾区的电台一直重复播放这首 Daughtry 的歌，和自己的心情写照竟然差不到哪里去。和Daughtry 一样，我们都不曾后悔我们为自己选择的这一条路，只不过加利福尼亚终究不是属于我们的（当然还有其他客观因素），所以我们最后还是踏上回家的旅途。

我终于要回家了。For good...

"Home" by Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, it makes true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

回家的跫音

2008年了，我仿佛已经听到自己回家的跫音。论文写完了，硕士课程结束了，是时候和斯坦福说再见了，是时候和加州的阳光告别了。

说实在的，我并不期待岛国的阳光。可是，离开了四年半，是终究要回去的。我真的要回家了。这次，逃不了了，避不过了。我真的要回去离开四年半的家，回到离开四年半朋友的身边，回到似曾相识的一草一木。

我对于未来是害怕的。害怕自己不能适应，害怕自己无法融入，害怕体验自己失去空间和自由的束缚。。。

回家的脚步越来越近，我的心也越来越忐忑。。。。。。


～～～
＊还没离开，我就开始想念在美国公路驰骋的快感。自己过去十多天一个人开了2230 miles （3600km）的车，累是当然的，但竟然还很享受。不知道什么时候还能以85 miles per hour （140 km per hour）的速度来回游走。